There’s one thing that’s been consistent throughout the stages of dating, being engaged, and getting married. But first, I want to share what was different about these times for me.
Dating can be difficult to navigate because priorities are split between so many things. There’s school, work, sports, activities, family, friends, self, and a significant other. It’s definitely important to split time and attention between everything when dating, but it can be hard when having to make decisions. Parents still have an influence on choices, friend’s opinions matter, and you also need to do what is best for yourself. Nick and I were long distance for most of the time we dated (which was only 3 months!) So that gave us time to focus on other people and things when we were not together.
Then we got engaged and it was super exciting and a completely new stage in our relationship. We got to be more focused on each other and the future because we took the step towards marriage. But it was also a weird in-between stage and we weren’t each other’s main priority just yet.
For example, while we were engaged (again only 3 months… haha) we were together for 6 weeks and then apart the 6 weeks leading up to the wedding. During the 6 weeks apart I really wanted to fly back for a few days to see him, and we were ready to buy a ticket. But my family wanted me to stay home and hang out with them and make sure everything was set for the wedding. It was a completely fair request from my family, but Nick also wanted me to come see him, and I missed my fiancé. So now I had to choose, knowing that my priorities were still split between everyone, and everything in my life. Ultimately, I decided to stay home. Nick and I came to the decision together, but wanted to respect my family’s wishes and save a little money on the flight. We also knew it would make the reunion so much sweeter.
Marriage then changed every relationship in my life. Now, Nick is my top priority and we make decisions together that are best for us and for our marriage. It is now about loving and serving each other, and sometimes that means setting boundaries on other things. By all means, things and people outside of our marriage are still important to us and will always be, but we are our own family now! It has been a super exciting transition and something that we will continue to work through as a couple in order to keep each other our main focus; Especially because life can get so distracting.
As I mentioned before, there’s one priority that has not changed through it all and it’s the most important one to me. And that is my relationship with God. He has been the center of our relationship from the beginning and is who we turn to for guidance when making any decision. He is also who I turn to when loving and being selfless becomes difficult. Our marriage would be 100 times harder if God wasn’t at the center of it. Just as He promised, He’s been consistent through it all. I also know that no one besides Jesus is perfect. Knowing this means that I don’t crush Nick with my expectations of a perfect husband because he could never fulfill that. Instead, God fulfills that and loves me unconditionally and having an amazing husband who loves me is a bonus.
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