New Country, New Home, New Relationship Status

Our bags were packed and we were about to start on one of the many adventures of our lives. Thankfully Nick and I had each other. Our move to Virginia was definitely stepping into unfamiliar territory, but we were excited and had been anticipating this move for a while. We got settled in and the first thing we realized was that all our friends were miles away. We loved hanging out with each other, but we knew we needed to get plugged into community. 

This hadn’t been a challenge for us previously. For some, this happens when they go off to college, but for each of us we had immediate connections with a group of friends because we both played on a team at college. It was especially easy because that new group of friends had a lot of the same interests, even beyond the sport we played together.

We moved in the middle of summer when schedules were inconsistent, there weren’t many weekly activities going on, and we missed the cut off for all the summer leagues. We also kept ourselves busy on the weekends with weddings, family trips, and meeting up with old friends, making it hard to meet new people and get plugged in.

I struggled more than Nick because he would head off to work Monday to Friday and I was stuck at home, alone. We also only had one car at the time so some days I was car-less. For the first little while it was exciting and we were organizing and buying stuff for our new place, but that didn’t last long because a one bedroom apartment doesn't take long to furnish.

It was very quiet at home. I used to love going up to my room in college and just getting some quick alone time and maybe watch a show or do some homework. But when I was by myself everyday, it became very lonely. I realized during this time that I thrive off of human interaction.

You would think that with the more time I had, the more productive I would be. It actually turned out to be the exact opposite. I would either go back to bed once Nick left for work, binge watch shows or sit on social media, all in an effort to pass the time as quickly as possible. I would get the minimum done I needed to throughout the day and then I would feel terrible and get mad at myself for wasting another day. I wasn't used to this freedom. Since I can remember my life had structure and was always full. High school revolved around sports, church, friends, and school. I seriously don’t remember having many nights off from activities unless they got cancelled. And then I transitioned right into Div. 1 athletics and had the busiest schedule ever, especially since I jammed an undergrad and a Masters degree into 4 years. I'm more productive when I have a crammed schedule because I just have to get it done. I even spent more time reading my bible when I was busier. 

Looking back over these past few months, I would say that my biggest regret is not taking more time to read my Bible and intentionally study God's Word. Obviously I had time, but I had so much time that I didn't know what to do with it and would push things off. Thankfully I realized that I was in a rut and am working on filling my days more. But it's definitely not easy and I still struggle on the days that I have nothing to do, or no reason to get out of the house.

We have a few friends and family that live nearby, but we still want to make our own community and not have to solely rely on them. Thankfully we got connected within a church that is nearby and are starting to feel a little more at home.

Once activities started up in the fall we were able to make those connections we desired. Now we have a great small group of couples that are in similar stages of life and we hang out with them a ton. We also joined a soccer team, and a group of Young Life leaders. Moral of the story: don’t move in the summer! I’m kidding, but it definitely made it a little harder. But we learned a lot and know that it’s up to us to find our community and we need to keep reaching out and meeting new people. As well as recognize those who are going through a similar transition and reaching out to them, because no one is offended by an invitation.

If people have gone through, or are going through something similar, I would definitely welcome any advice you have for keeping busy or making more connections.

Photos By: Rebekah Grace Photography

She's the best!!